


Being Yourself Is Pretty Cool; Fangs Are Just An Added Bonus

by Le_kunokimchi



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Bang Chan & Han Jisung | Han & Seo Changbin are Best Friends, Bang Chan is Whipped, Bang Chan is a Mess, Bang Chan is a Panicked Gay, Bang Chan-centric, First Meetings, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Human Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Lee Felix is Whipped (Stray Kids), Lee Felix is a Confident Gay (Stray Kids), Lee Felix is a Good Friend, Lee Felix is a Little Shit (Stray Kids), M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Vampire Bang Chan, chan tries his best to be a cool vampire but he adorably fails, lee felix is good at taekwondo, self-defense is important kids, small amount of sexual innuendos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29912709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Le_kunokimchi/pseuds/Le_kunokimchi
Summary: “There is something wrong with you,” Chan mumbles, eyeing him warily, “We’re not friends; I literally just jumped you in an alley and tried to suck your blood like ten minutes ago.”“So you were gonna suck me! That’s so cool; honestly, if you would have asked before like… going all ninja-in-the-darkness on me, I probably would have let you.”Chan cringed, the tingling in his ears spreading down his neck and across his cheeks, “D-Don’t say it like that.”(Or the one where a hopeless vampire had thought that he had scored an easy meal; turns out the human boy was dancing, not drunkenly shuffling, and may or may not have the ability to flirtatiously kick his ass)
Relationships: Bang Chan & Han Jisung | Han, Bang Chan & Seo Changbin, Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Kudos: 111





	Being Yourself Is Pretty Cool; Fangs Are Just An Added Bonus

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings, friends; I took a short break from my chaptered works and felt inspired to write this vampire Chan and human Felix drabble.  
> There is basically just a lot of bantering and teasing until Felix whips out his ray of sunshine moment near the end and Chan just turns soft and mushy hehe
> 
> I hope you enjoy and these "innuendos" are very minor, as is the "severity" of their "fight" scene so that's why I didn't add an archive warning for violence.

Vampires were pretty cool: or that’s what Chan always thought as a kid growing up. They were strong without making 6am trips to the gym; they were beautiful and fit without having to go on hardcore diets or wearing tons of makeup; they wore dark clothes without being labeled a goth or edge lord (whatever that’s supposed to mean); they were elegant and graceful without having to worry about clumsily tripping over their feet and spilling coffee on the pretty new girl in their music design class; they stayed up all night and slept all day without judgement for being an reclusive workaholic with serious insomnia issues; they were pale without being told to go back to Australia for some much needed sun; they were mysterious and alluring without rambling at the slightest conversation starter or saying something dumb and then awkwardly giggling in embarrassment afterwards; they didn’t have blood pumping through their system and therefore did not have to worry about their ears flushing pink at the most miniscule of flirtatious comments or humiliatingly quick boners at the tiniest of touches. 

So, yeah, Chan liked vampires. He thought they were awesome; he wished he could be like them. He pretended every Halloween and he dreamed of the day that dying and gaining fangs would solve all of his problems. 

He thought that they were the coolest, at least until he became one himself… Being a vampire sounded great on paper and in the movies, sounded like the cure to all his troubles in theory but it turns out that you have to be pretty cool  _ before  _ becoming a vampire to be an actually  _ cool  _ vampire. So while Selene from Underworld was a badass in leather and Edward Cullen could make girls squeal over a simple cock of his brow, Chan was still (as usual) a fumbling nervous mess. 

He was much too self-conscious and anxious and  _ nice  _ to ‘ _ vampire _ ’ correctly. Getting his fix for blood was always a nagging matter at the back of his mind twice a month (red meat could tie him over for the rest of the days despite how much Jisung points out that he  _ “looks like shit” _ or Changbin scolds that  _ “starving yourself is not having the situation under control”.  _ But, honestly, what do they know? They aren’t vampires; they can barely be considered human with all the horsing around the two of them do with their boyfriends). Chan has zero bewitching skills and is much too malnourished to overpower his hope-to-be victims. So he goes after drunkards stumbling home in the dead of the night and more often than not crashes on Changbin’s couch at four in the morning as his completely hammered brain has designated his house as the closest place for his stumbling feet to travel to. 

He was tired of being so weak and helpless, tired of becoming a low-grade alcoholic every time he needed to feed, tired of falling into an uninspired slump every time he was required to write a term paper because his head was too foggy with thirst. Quite honestly, he was tired of being a vampire. Quite honestly, he wished that he was still human; at least then he had an excuse to why he was a loser. 

And tonight, he is probably going to make a fool of himself once again because, unfortunately, he’s hungry.

  
  


It’s two in the morning; the streets are eerily quiet. Chan resides in the shadows three buildings down from the bar at the corner, waiting in the alley for an unsuspecting drunk to walk by for him to yank into the darkness with a flash of fangs and red eyes. 

He had gone a little longer than usual without blood, his normally cautious and patient hunting habits being replaced with the unbridled and ravenous thirst for the crimson liquid. 

_ The first person _ , he tells himself,  _ the first person who walks by is mine. I don’t care who they are or what they look like; well, unless they are like a single mother or a dumb kid or- wait no, I can’t afford to be picky tonight. I need blood and I need it now. _

Thirty minutes go by with nothing but the gentle breeze of the chilly night air disturbing the silence. Chan is getting restless, considering just marching into the bar himself and pulling some sorry sucker off the dance floor and through the backdoor under the guise of a quickie. But he knows that as soon as he catches sight of the pulsing veins beneath yet to be marred skin, his eyes will glint an alarm-raising shade of red that no amount of lying or wheedling could get him out of.

An hour and nothing. Chan squirms in place, becoming increasingly more irritated as the night stretches on. Why hasn’t he seen a single person on the streets? Why hasn’t he heard any drunken slurs or the pounding beat of a base-saturated club song? Why is he still standing here alone? Where is everyone? It’s a Friday night: nobody in their right mind would have stayed home! Why are his teeth not sunken into somebody’s frickin neck-

His ear twitches, catching the sound of shuffling feet. A person, an alive person making their way to him! They sound light despite their erratic movements, probably thin and small and relatively easy for Chan to overpower. This is perfect; he’ll get a nice meal without a scratch!

Isn't he a lucky vampire?

He tugs his hood up and licks his lips, edging closer to the corner to snatch his victim as soon as they cross his path. 

The shuffling grows louder; Chan flexes his fingers in anticipation. 

He hears a soft humming and catches a glimpse of bleach-blonde hair before he’s reaching out and slamming the surprisingly lissome frame against the cement of the wall.

The person lets out a small squeak, air knocked from their lungs as Chan leans in to inhale their sweet scent. He noses at their skin for a split second before there is the clattering of something hitting the alley sidewalk and then Chan is stumbling backwards, clutching his jaw in shock. He doesn’t have time to recover from the sharp elbow before a knee goes flying into his stomach, followed in quick success by a roundhouse kick to the head. Chan yelps in a daze, red eyes wide as he stares at the man readying to land another blow. 

“What? Didn’t expect me to put up a fight, huh? Well I’ve got seven years of taekwondo under my belt so what now, shithead? You’re lucky I left my pepper spray.”

Chan tries not to focus on how deep and sultry his attacker’s voice is; it’s already embarrassing enough that they have one of the prettiest faces he has ever seen. He’s a vampire for crying out loud; he should be the one inflicting pain and making threats! He lunges forward with a growl but the thin man is slippery and dodges his advancement with ease, taking ahold of the wrist of his outstretched hand and raising it to use as leverage as he shoves Chan face-first into the wall. 

The vampire almost whines at the amount of embarrassment he is feeling: he is literally pinned against the wall by a man half of his size. Was he really that weak or was the stranger just a force to be reckoned with?

Not a lucky vampire; he was not lucky  _ at all _ .

He huffs in exasperation, catching the sight of grocery bags next to the wall. The man must have not come from the bar but had simply been shopping at 3am (as if that was a  _ normal _ occurrence which, to Chan, was most certainly  _ not _ ). 

Chan feels bad, guilty even; this college student-looking guy didn't deserve this. Maybe he can lie and say that he thought he was someone else; maybe he can say he was scared and acted out of instinct when he saw a person by the alley; maybe he could play it off that his uncoordinated attacks were a result of being drunk. The man doesn't even have to know that he was about to probably suck him dry-

"You know, I expected better to be honest."

Chan scowls in confusion, wiggling around to try and break free but the guy just lifted his awkwardly bent arm up higher.

"Let go of me," the vampire hissed.

"I almost want to, just so I can know what the hell you were doing," the man says with the slightest hint of amusement to his tone, "I thought maybe the red eyes were like a trick of the light or something but these-" he jabs the finger of his other hand right into Chan's scarred over turning-marks, making the vampire become more annoyed with the situation, "They are no tattoo, yeah?"

"Stop touching me! Let me go!"

"Jesus, are all vampires this whiny too?" He tsks and Chan's teeth grit at the pitiful look the man gives him, "Come on, I'll make you deal: I'll let you go and you can try again. Just please, for the love God, tell me that wasn't your best because honestly,  _ mate, _ I'm not sure how you have survived this long if you think a weak-ass push to the wall is gonna keep someone from squirming around. I don't care what any kinky asses have told you but teeth to the neck is not an enjoyable experience for anyone; they are gonna fight back."

"I wasn’t- I just thought- You’re not drunk..?" Chan questions with a pout, feeling even more stupid for believing that he could handle getting a meal tonight. He is now the laughing stock of this guy's ruined after-midnight trip to the convenience store. 

"Drunk? Like from the bar down there?" The man squawks before giggling with a shake of his head (there was a tingling at the tips of Chan’s ears at the noise; it was awfully cute despite crushing his self-esteem even more), "The bar is closed for the next month; something about a roach infestation or maybe ants? I don't know; I read it in the papers but uh- nah, not drunk. Kind of pissed that you tried to attack me but meeting a real life vampire is pretty cool I guess."

Okay so not only was this guy slightly threatening with his martial arts, he was also a weirdo; great job, Christopher. Wonderful choice for the night. 

"Shouldn't you be scared of me if I'm a _real_ _life vampire_?" Chan asks out of almost genuine concern for the guy; it's not every day that a human just nonchalantly disregards the fact that he’s face-to-face with a bloodthirsty monster. 

“Scared of you?” The very beautiful man raises a brow, kicking his popliteal with enough force for Chan to fall on one knee, “No offense bro but, for a vampire, you’re not very intimidating. If anything, this is kind of sad…”

Chan grunts, a dull ache working its way up his knee and burning sensation beginning in the rotator cuff of his shoulder. “That’s… I don’t see how that is  _ not  _ offensive!”

“True,” the man shrugs, “But it’s like the thought behind the gesture that counts, right?”

Chan’s brow furrows as he dares to look back at the blonde, “I don’t think it works like that; you can’t just say something mean and add no offense and expect everything to be all peachy afterwards.”

The smaller’s lip juts out, his warm brown eyes sparkling in the moonlight and making Chan’s knees go a little weak (at least he wasn’t standing), “It totally does work like that: I wasn’t meaning to offend you. You’re very handsome and rugged, could definitely pull off the sexy vampire vibe if you weren’t so worn out and haggard looking, but your skills are just borderline pathetic. All I’m saying is that you need help, man. Take it as a suggestion from a friend.”

The vampire frowns, now actually threatened by the man’s presence; how could anyone be so calm and comfortable under these circumstances?!

“There is something wrong with you,” Chan mumbles, eyeing him warily, “We’re not friends; I literally just jumped you in an alley and tried to suck your blood like ten minutes ago.”

“So you were gonna suck me! That’s so cool; honestly, if you would have asked before like… going all ninja-in-the-darkness on me, I probably would have let you.”

Chan cringed, the tingling in his ears spreading down his neck and across his cheeks, “D-Don’t say it like that.”

The blonde smirked (and dear God it was such a dangerously  _ enticing  _ smirk) before letting out a deep snicker. “I mean- not saying that  _ that _ isn’t tempting too but- I’m more of a waiting until at least the third date kind of guy. Depends on how fun you are.”

The vampire’s jaw dropped, the man giving him a cheeky wink before Chan flusteredly replies, “I’m not- I would never- You are actually insane! Just let go of me already!”

The man fully laughs now, releasing Chan’s arm and causing the other to slump against the wall and shoot a glare with all of the intensity his immense humiliation could muster.

But instead of cowering in fear like somebody facing an angry vampire  _ should _ , the blonde coos, “Aw, you look like a kicked puppy. How cute.”

“I am not a kicked puppy! I will sink these fangs right into your neck if you say another word!”

“Really?” the other brightens and takes a step back, holding his hands up in a  _ come at me  _ gesture, “Alright, go for it; I’m curious now what the big hype over vampirism is. Like do all people turn when you bite them? Do you always have to go for the neck? Does your saliva really heal the puncture wounds? Does it actually make a rush of endorphins go through your system? How do you know when to stop before you accidentally kill them? Oh or is it like a life or death sort of-”

He didn’t get to finish as Chan goes charging at him in blind fury, so over the amount of ridicule he has had to face in the short amount of time they have shared. He thought that the element of surprise would be the best option since the man never seems to shut up but he was mistaken; his eyes had widened momentarily but then his features set into a steeling expression and Chan could only brace himself for the pain that was soon to come. With an almost squatting stance of legs, the blonde lowered his shoulder and Chan’s abdomen went colliding into it before the man used his momentum against him, gripping his upper arm and hoisting Chan up and over him to slam his body on the concrete with a loud smack. The vampire wheezed; one moment he was on his feet, and the next he was lying supine upon the dingy ground and staring up at a star speckled sky. 

The man’s head was the only thing to disturb the view (and by disturb, Chan means that it was just a reminder of his failure despite such the lovely sight his face made with the pale beams of the moon creating a halo effect on his golden hair and peeking through his dark hooded lashes as he stared down upon him with a plump pink lip trapped between his gleaming teeth); his expression twisted into a subtle wince as he crouched down and gave a prodding poke to the vampire’s head. “Hm, yeah, that sounded like it hurt, pal; sorry about that.”

If Chan wasn’t in so much pain and had a significantly clearer head, he probably would have had the right mind to roll his eyes and mutter a _ “No shit”  _ in response. Instead, he just glares at him again.

The man’s brow furrows lightly in concern, “Are there like vampire doctors or something you can go to? I don’t know how your guys' bodies work or whatever but that definitely would have given any normal person a concussion.” He nudges his head again with his pointer finger, “Do you feel concussed?”

"I… d-don't need a doctor. Vampires have... healing abilities," Chan grits out despite the pressure being sent to his head with each vibration of his throat. "And how would I know if I was concussed or not!”

“Good point,” the man lifted up three fingers and hovered over Chan’s face, “How many fingers am I holding up?”

The vampire peered at the tan (and actually quite  _ small _ ) hand near his face with disinterest, feeling absolutely ridiculous with being presented such a childish task but then the corner of his lip quirks slightly as he said in the slyest voice he could rally, “I see three  _ short  _ fingers. You have very tiny hands.”

The man frowns, yanking the limb back in offense as the vampire inspected the simple metal ring upon his pinky. “And you have a really big nose but you don’t see me pointing it out,” the blonde grumbles, now being the one to glare at the other ( _ oh so he’s self-conscious of his hand size; how adorable _ ). 

Chan snorts, the quirk rising even more into a subtle smirk, “Yeah, I do. But you know what else is big?”

“Your ego?”

“No, my feet. And my hands, unlike you.” 

“Makes sense,” the man’s lip curled deviously, “Clowns  _ do  _ have big feet. Maybe you should start dressing up as that: it’s definitely more believable than the whole vampire schtick.”

Chan hisses at him much like a cat, a fire alight in his gaze once again as his flow of comebacks ran dry and he came back empty. “I hate you,” he mutters weakly. 

The man snickers and shoves at the vampire’s head playfully, making Chan swat away his hand in irritation. 

“Come on, man: I’ll help you up.” The blonde pats the brunette’s shoulder twice with a commiserating smile, “Maybe even get you a meal; you look like-”

“Shit?” Chan fills in, unamused and practically hearing Jisung’s voice at the back of his head.

“No, like you’re having a rough week,” the man says before moving to the side as Chan slaps away his outstretched hand and stands on his own, “But I guess shit, too. Those dark circles can’t be a day old.”

He rolls his eyes and sneers, “Gee, thanks. I thought it would add to my aesthetic.” 

“I mean, it does, if you’re going for the pitifully desperate and crusty old blood-sucker vibe, sure.”

Chan exhales harshly through his nose, shooting yet another glare. The smaller holds up his hands in surrender but there is an impish lilt to his voice as he tacks on, “But you do you, mate.”

“I really,  _ really  _ hate you.”

The man smiles sweetly, “And I like you too, Batty, so  _ suck on that _ . Too bad we had to meet like this: believe it or not, I actually didn’t have ‘ _ kick a vampire’s ass _ ’ on my to-do list today.”

Chan scoffs sarcastically, “Just  _ today _ ?” as he brushes the dirt off his pants. 

The man scratches his chin in mock-thought, “Well, it was definitely on my bucket list; right next to creating a wig out of Bigfoot hair and making a cupcake with narwhal fat instead of butter.”

“But narwhals are-” Chan decides to stop and just shake his head in exasperation; this guy was definitely  _ different _ , if not overly trusting and having a few screws loose in that pretty head of his. “There is something seriously wrong with you.”

“Yeah, you’ve said that a few times,” the man chuckles, popping his back as he stretches his arms high above his head, “Yet, here you are: a hopeless hungry vampire next to an above average example of humankind with perfectly good blood coursing through his veins that you could never hope to get a taste of on your own.”

Chan crosses his arms, pouting once again. “I could if I truly wanted to-”   
“Okay, sure, Batty; whatever you have to tell yourself to feel better.”

“You’re insufferable,” he jeered, “And stop calling me Batty!”

The blonde snorts as he swiftly picks up his bags of groceries. “Then what am I supposed to call you, hm? You got a name, Mr. Blood-sucker?”

The vampire narrows his eyes. “ _ Yes _ , I do.”

“Care to share?”

“Why should I?”

“I could start calling you body-sucker instead-”

His red orbs grow in panic, quickly sputtering, “It’s Chan; call me Chan.”

“Alright,  _ Chan _ ,” the man’s lips lift into a warm smile, “Well I’m gonna head home now. This ice-cream and milk isn’t gonna keep if it’s not chilled.” He begins walking to the exit of the alleyway and the vampire, without really thinking, parts his lips to utter something that will make him stay for even a second longer but the blonde looks back at him and says, “If you can make it through today without feeding, meet me back here tomorrow at the same time. I have a friend over at the blood donor clinic; I’ll ask him to draw more from me than usual so I can use it for ‘genetic testing’ or some shit. I can’t  _ be  _ a blood bag but I can get you a blood bag, if you like.”

Chan isn’t so sure what the man is hoping to gain from this, even if the offer is tempting. What’s going to happen if he doesn’t show up despite saying he would? Would Chan have wasted yet another night trying to obtain something to quench his thirst? Can he even trust this man to give him blood and not some poisonous red cocktail? Nobody is  _ this  _ nice, right?

The smaller seems to sense his hesitation and wariness, shrugging as he adds, “Or not; you can always wait for your next victim, I guess. But if you’re aiming for vulnerable and defenseless drunks, I suggest finding another spot. The only person happily dancing down the street at this time of night is me when I’m having a 3am cereal crave. Enjoy the rest of your night and I hope to be jumped by you some time in the near future-”

“Wait,” Chan says, causing the blonde to stop and look at him expectantly, “Why are you doing this?”

His gaze seems to drift to the ground thoughtfully, features softening in a way that made Chan’s chest feel all warm and fuzzy. “Nobody asks to be given the short end of the stick, sometimes life just sucks and you aren’t really sure what to do to make it better,” he meets the vampire’s eyes, tone dripping with compassion, “I had to go through a lot of shit by myself, with nobody to turn to for help or support; I know what is feels like to have needs and fears and responsibilities riding on your shoulders no matter how  _ tired  _ you are. I’m not going to just stand here and watch somebody struggle when I could do something to help them; vampire or not, you’re just trying to make it another day.”

Chan blinks at him, completely taken off guard by the pure  _ kindness  _ and  _ sincerity  _ the man is radiating; despite the easy going and teasing demeanor, he was actually a sweetheart that was genuinely concerned for the wellbeing of others and that just made the vampire oddly feel even more infatuated. “B-But what if I hurt you? How can you trust- trust me  _ not  _ to just try and attack you again?”

“Oh, well that’s simple,” the man shrugs, “I can’t.”

His brow furrows, “Then why..?”

“If you feel the need to become the exact monster that everyone thinks you are then that just proves my point even more that you have some issues to deal with,” he replies as he gives Chan a wink, “Whether you want help or not is up to you; for now, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you’ll show up tomorrow, yeah?”

Chan nods numbly, the tingling feeling all over his skin and feet frozen in place. 

He watches as the literal image of an angel gets further and further away before calling out, “Hey.”

The man glances back once again, brow raised in amusement.

“What’s your name?”

The blonde gives a dazzling smile that makes the red in Chan’s eyes simmer down to merely a tinted brown as his unbeating heart swells. “Felix. It was lovely meeting you Chan-ssi; see ya around.” He lazily waves his bag of groceries before disappearing back onto the empty streets, undoubtedly enjoying himself if the sounds of humming and rhythmic thumping of feet were anything to go by. 

And Chan smiles because although the guy was annoying and weird and probably going to get himself killed one day, he would be lying if he said that he wasn’t looking forward to their next meeting. He guesses that even a not-so-normal human or a weak-and-pitiful vampire can be seen as pretty cool in the right eyes. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


__

**Author's Note:**

> Soft boi hours <3 I kinda don't want to write a part two but I know I have so much material to work with if I did... hmm I'll think about it.
> 
> Sorry to those of you waiting for chapter three of Ooh-Aah and chapter seven of Two Blinks; I'll get back to them real soon!


End file.
